Shark week

I hope you enjoy this sneak peek!

I have to preface this chapter by letting you know that Jessica CAN hear but speaks ONLY in sign language. (The details are in the book.)

Jessica

14 years old

I was sitting with my head hanging over the bottom of the couch and my legs flopped over the top. I reached above my head to the mini-recorder laying on the ground and pressed a button.

“I HAAAATE MY PERIOD!”  a childish voice whined from the speaker. 

 “WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?” Jaimie shouted from my right, looking at my phone in horror.

 “Jessica. What did you do?” Romeo sighed and rubbed the back of his head. He was sitting on my left. He also looked at the tiny machine in fear.

Smiling, I pushed another button. “I neeeeeed CHOCOLATE!” The speaker exclaimed. Jaimie shoved a spoonful of Death by chocolate ice-cream in my mouth hole, pointed to the recorder and demanded “Stop this!”

“Jesus Christ and all his apostles!” Gramma rose walked into the living room and stood in front of our TV set staring down at the three of us. “What in heavens name are you three doing? And why are you upside down?” She closed her eyes tight already dreading our answer.

 “And what was that screeching noise?!” Grampa Willie finished looking very confused.

Jaimie and Romeo were sitting on either side of me, with their backs pressed up against the couch bottom. “Jessica is having her period week. Romeo says it’s like Shark Week except for vaginas, so we are feeding her chocolate, Cheetos and watching The Notebook.” Jaimie said, spooning another lump of cold chocolate into my upside-down mouth.

 

“I’m upside down because Jaimie says that this will redirect the blood back to my head, which will make me not so bitchy.” I signed. My Grampa turned away but I saw his shoulders shake. 

 Gramma Rose had eyes as big as her wedding china and she pointed her mighty finger at Romeo and Jaimie “FOOLS! You can’t redirect menstrual blood. It needs to come out of her body…It’s not a ….a…WOUND!” she sputtered.

 “Ohhhhh” Jaimie murmured, nodding his head.

“Ohhhhh” I signed along with him.

“Good to know.” Romeo scratched at his chin. He was 16 now and had decided to grow out his face hairs.

 “Well how are we three supposed to know anything about periods?! There not a single mom amongst us.” Jaimie hunched his shoulders and held out his hands. “Besides, my dad said that anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn’t die, shouldn’t be trusted.”  Jaimie skinnied his eyes up at me and timidly held out a Cheeto for my mouth. I flipped right side up on the couch and criss crossed my legs before leaning forward and snapping my teeth around his offering. 

“That explains why your dad’s divorces fund the local legal union.” Gramma Rose muttered.

 Romeo picked up my new recorder and held it far away from his body. “And the noise?”

 “I paid the new girl who just moved in five bucks to record some custom whines for me.” I smiled, reached my hand out to Romeo for my new gadget.

 “Whines?!” He asked incredulously, his beautiful green eyes wide and frightened.

 I took a moment and frowned at everyone in the room. “Yes whines! None of you ever have to deal with me whining….ever.”

 “Yes, which is why we like you,” Jaimie pointed out, sucking his orange Cheeto fingers into his mouth one by one.

 I smiled and pushed a third button “But that’s not faaaaaaair!” Shot out of the speaker. Everybody cringed but I smiled wider.

Romeo stood up “Jessica Dae, I will stop coming over if you continue to whine at me with someone else’s voice.” He looked down at me sternly, arms crossed over his chest.

 “FINE!” I signed, slapping the side of my leg with each letter I spelled out. (This is how I “yelled”)

 Jamie’s eyes got big and he hooked a thumb at me before asking Gramma Rose “And you’re sure there is NOTHING that can be done to make her less bitchy?”

I gasped and quickly pushed button number four which exclaimed “FUCK YOU!” I pointed to Jaimie then crossed my arms and smiled.

 In that brief and idiodic moment, I had forgotten that my Gramma and Grampa were both standing in the same room. (I blame Jaimie and my shark week period.)

“JAIMIE CHAVES AND JESSICA DAE! YOU BOTH GO WASH YOUR OWN MOUTHS OUT RIGHT THIS SECOND!!” My gramma pointed her finger at us and EVERYTHING.

We both stood up and stomped to the bathroom while she muttered prayers for our souls behind us. I grabbed a pink bar (They were less after tast-ey) and Jaimie chose his usual. An orange bar made with goats’ milk.

 “This is all your fault” I stomped my foot and signed at him before popping the silky bar of soap between my lips.

 Jaimie’s eyes squinted at me with an evil glint. “Phuckyew” he slurred around his soap, holding his middle finger up for reference.

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