My step mom (at the time) set up an old buzzard party and everyone wore black beaks on their faces. I don't feel old, or particularly buzzard-y.
In fact, I can't quite believe that I am 40 years old.
Aren't 40 year old's supposed to have their shit in order by now?
Shouldn't I have an IRA (Whatever that is) a retirement fund and my house paid off?
I feel like I should have a blooming garden in my walkway and a stately lamp in my living room (instead of a 5 foot stuffed giraffe named Steve).
My life is a hectic hot mess.
I am never home and when I am, I fall asleep on the couch after eating mexican pizzas from Taco Bell.
This morning I woke up with my neck cranked so hard to the left, that I could barely lift it.
I had no idea what time it was and while my brain was wondering where the fuck the coffee was, out loud I wondered "Where the fuck are my children?"
What day is it? Is it Monday? I'm supposed to go in early on Monday. Did some body steal my children? What time is it?
Luckily my children were asleep in their beds.
I didn't put them there because I fell asleep...or Maybe I passed out from choking on my nachos Bell-grande.
I decided to start this NEW blog in the event of me recognizing that I don't see things quite the way that I always have. Things are annoying, people are assholes, I find joy in chasing children with laser pointers....well that has always been fun.
I'm old and I decided to write all about my hard core crush, relationships with friends, my hatred of work out pants at school pick ups and my obsession with snapchat filters.
Because when you are 40. Why not mean it?
